Saturday, October 12, 2013

My PG-13 Reply to: Best practice to create Site Search Engine

I received an email on one of the Groups/Mailing list I’m subscribed to and it was like:

Need guru's idea selecting the best for creating website search engine

1. Indexing
2. Simplest one (database driven)
3. Database + XML

or any other idea???

Remember; the result page containing URL that should not be exposed, mean no direct hit access.

please let me know its an urgent request.

I waited for 24 hours to see if someone responds to this “urgent” request and then I went on like this:

Well first and foremost... I'm not just Guru, I'm Maha Guru... so please don't take me "lightly"... ever!

Say sorry to me and write with (white, yellow, green and red) chalks, a 1000 times, on BlackBoard... "I WILL NOT TAKE HUMAYUN LIGHTLY ANYMORE"

Now, you should know that "THIS MAILING LIST" is for my fuckingly annoying, third-grade, junk emails... and people have only subscribe to this mailing list:

  1. to practice how quickly they can mark an email as spam/junk/garbage
  2. and to check whether their email client's Delete (and Burn the Fucker!) functionality is still working

And, don't try to be over-smart by Replying to any of the emails. Replying will brought the Curse and Wrath of the Dumb Asses.

Ahh... now I'm at Peace!

Inner Peace!

(imagine a soothing white haze all around you... with a soulful Dolby-Surround-Sound sonar)

Inner Peace! (.... tin.... tin.... tin....) [where the duration between each tin is 33 seconds]

...

So, what were you saying?

or was that I, who was saying? tsk tsk tsk.... pity the lost soul!

{ "Jaanwer" kafi mahengay chal rahay hein "mandee" mein aaj kal - yeh khabar aap kay leay phorree... sub say pehlay, Namaloom Afraad nay, Na Maloom jagah say }

Oh! sorry ...

Inner Peace! (.... tin.... tin.... tin....)  [where the duration between each tin is 34 seconds] FUCK! why 34 now? mayree marzee

...

So, what were you saying?

Retard,

Humayun.

Why am I sharing this here? well some of those Dumb _____ I mentioned in my reply, insists to share this reply, out of their flattery to appease me, for reasons which I can not share; because if I do, I'll probably have to change PG-13 from title of this post above to NC-17!